Life has a way of gifting us dates that become significant chapters in our personal lives. Two dates will forever remain etched in my heart: June 12th, my expected due date, and January 19th, the day I learned that my baby boy no longer had a heartbeat. As June 12th approached this year, I found myself on an emotional journey, navigating through waves of sadness and moments of deep reflection. As the day drew closer, I had one of two choices. I could allow sadness to consume me and focus on what could’ve, should’ve, would’ve been or I could approach the day with intention and find the joy in what is.
Through this journey, I have learned that grief and joy can coexist. The sadness of losing my baby will always be a part of me, but it doesn't define me. Instead, I choose to focus on the love that my baby brought into my life, even if it was for a brief moment. This love has given me the strength to move forward, to find joy in the present, and to live in a peaceful state of mind.
Each year on or around June 12th, my husband and oldest son join me in a heartfelt tradition to honor our baby's memory. Together, we release a balloon into the sky, a symbolic gesture of letting go while keeping the love alive in our hearts. This year, our tradition carries an extra layer of joy and significance as we are so blessed to have our newest addition join us in honoring his memory. The presence of our new baby brings a profound sense of healing and hope.
As part of our tradition/celebration, we love to take lots of family pictures before releasing our balloon. However, after releasing the balloon this year, something truly remarkable happened as we were preparing to leave to go home; a beautiful rainbow appeared in the sky. To us, it was a sign - a symbol of hope and God's love and promises for us. It was a reminder that beauty can emerge from even the darkest storm. I will always cherish these moments of joy and hold them near and dear. I choose to embrace it with an open heart and have peace in knowing that my baby’s memory will always be a part of me, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
Toshina S. Wiggins
#momofthree #hope #remembrance #reflection #love #healing #prenancyandinfantlossawareness #angelprints #foreverprintedinourhearts
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